majiksznak

Peter Falk says Hi.

Socrates Meets Jesus. My take is that this written a little naively: I know what the writer is trying to do, but I think it comes off flippant and uninformed. However, I am uninformed myself, so my impression can't count for much!

I'm guessing this Japanese game show is called Super Fun Teabagging Hour.

Star Trek bloopers. Gold!

A Starburst commercial... Uh, ok.

On this article about the making of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, I found the pictured advertisement.

The look on the guy's face says "it hasn't worked yet".

Something Awful Photoshop Phriday on TV shows being made into movies.

Get Smart is being made as a movie starring Steve Carell, though.

Condom testers required by Durex. Start your engines! Thanks, Hot Janet!

Barret has a comic strip. It's very good, and you should check it out. If you ever forget the link, it's part of my unmanageable and now ineptly named list of weblogs.

PC vs. Mac commercial: Upgrades.

Some of the better April Fool's pranks.

Amazing >3 minute long one-take fight scene from "The Protector".

Peanut Butter Disproves Evolution.

This is a riot.

Conversation at work regarding eating jelly beans that had been left out:

Me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Josh: "Not necessarily. An axe to the neck that doesn't quite kill you..."
Me: "Not so: the next time the axe won't get through because you'll have healed over with a hard, chitinous coating. God, man: it's just science."

Acceptance letter from MIT and the response from a hilarious potential student...

Ok! Krafty Kuts is playing at the Starlite Lounge this Friday (March 30th). Anybody want to go?

The History of the Vibrator.

Time to retire my Airzooka... I have a new office justice toy!

OkCupid classifies me as "The Gentleman":
Deliberate Gentle Love Master. Hmm... I probably would have said something like "The Gong Show". Apparently I am to avoid women who can be classified as "Genghis Khunt".

The graphic they associate with me is... disturbing.

My birthday's coming up April 3rd. I'll let people know if and when I'm doing a thing. It'll be the "big three-oh".

Depeche Mode vs. The Cure. Fight!

Isaac Asimov on intelligence:

Consider my auto-repair man, again. He had a habit of telling me jokes whenever he saw me. One time he raised his head from under the automobile hood to say: "Doc, a deaf-and-mute guy went into a hardware store to ask for some nails. He put two fingers together on the counter and made hammering motions with the other hand. The clerk brought him a hammer. He shook his head and pointed to the two fingers he was hammering. The clerk brought him nails. He picked out the sizes he wanted, and left. Well, doc, the next guy who came in was a blind man. He wanted scissors. How do you suppose he asked for them?"

Indulgently, I lifted by right hand and made scissoring motions with my first two fingers. Whereupon my auto-repair man laughed raucously and said, "Why, you dumb jerk, He used his voice and asked for them." Then he said smugly, "I've been trying that on all my customers today." "Did you catch many?" I asked. "Quite a few," he said, "but I knew for sure I'd catch you." "Why is that?" I asked. "Because you're so goddamned educated, doc, I knew you couldn't be very smart."

Smart kids love metal. Rawk!

Romance Novel Covers.

If you are a slob, you are more productive than neat people.

Where does morality come from? A study of moral behaviour in primates.

Chris Rock on the US electoral candidates for the upcoming Presidential elections.

The Coy Hunt making their debut at the Druid.

Mr. Rogers plays Donkey Kong. These days, the kid would be like, "Rogers: if you do not stop fucking with my controls, I will pwn joo!"

This girl has a hilarious laugh.

Fido is a movie about people keeping zombies as pets. Starring Carrie-Ann Moss!

The trailer looks promising.

The Mormon guide to resist masturbation:

Set up a reward system. Each time you reach a goal, award yourself a quarter. Spend it on something that delights you.

You can't buy a blowjob from a hooker for a quarter! Silly Mormons.

10 myths and 10 truths about Atheism.

Shan-rocks and Shenanigans. I didn't take many pictures at Shannon's St. Patrick's Day party, but here they are. The flash had a purple gel on it in case you were wondering about the tinge...

Another music recommendation... Check out this awesome video by Ascii Disko. They have many sweet tunes.

Amish Girls Gone Wild. For reals.

We Are Scientists is a band with at least one killer tune (The Great Escape). You can stream their entire album from their website.

Go do that now.

A nice cut on I.D.

"Teach Both Theories"

So LavaLife sends me advertising for a speed dating thing, and the cost is $69. Subliminal marketing?

There is a shitload of water on Mars.

5 most ridiculous celebrity endorsements by Western stars for Japanese products.

Online Dating Strategies.

Instant Irish accent spray.

Insane Japanese costumes. Pictured: "Merry Christmas! Now get back in the box!"

Kickin' it Old Skool... Crappy premise for a movie I will probably go see.

Live-action Pac-Man from Japan.

The 20 worst covers in pop music history.

The Museum of Unworkable Devices is dedicated to perpetual motion machines and other impractical devices.

Men stare at other men's crotches.

GoogleSpotting: Some kind of huge glowing asterik in Latvia.

I can't believe I haven't posted this t-shirt site before. Lots of gold!

It should come as no surprise that incompetent people believe they are more competent than they really are. It's because they aren't competent enough to recognize competence.

Video games rule. Thanks to everyone who showed for Friday and Saturday's nerd-fests.

Don't want to accept compensation to move out of your house? Be prepared for some serious hardball.

Upcoming Sznak upgrades:

1. Post categories.
   
   A while ago I submitted the site to a service which pays bloggers to review things. I've done a few reviews in the past, and they seem to accept even personal blogs. I was rejected because all they saw were the single-line "link to another site" posts which make up the bulk of the posts. If I can split things up, and have majiksznak.net/reviews/, majiksznak.net/links/, majiksznak.net/blog/ and so on and so forth, I'll be able to submit the relevant stuff, and it'll generally clean things up.
   
   Plus sometimes you need to bitch and whine about your personal life to your friends, and that can have its own place here (visible only to the users I choose).
   
   
2. Post rankings.
   
   You'll be able to assign your +1 or -1 to posts.
   
   
3. Comment / Post ranking listings.
   
   The highest / lowest rated posts and comments will be listed on a special stats page. For now, here are all the ones that scored over 1: mike 3, Andrew 3, TheSpaceAdmiral 3, Andrew 2, Andrew 2, heath_er_k 2, Gregmita 2, Nick 2, Majik Sznak 2, Jason 2

What happens when you're too dumb to tell a joke properly? This.

The Freedom Ship is a large barge... And the CEO of the company is a terrible writer.

Crysis (upcoming 3D game / engine) has an amazing level editor.

ABBA The Hutt.

Mayan priests purge GWB's "evil" from Guatemala.

I need a "guys drinking and playing video games" night. Friday! Let's rock!

Let me know if you're in. Girls who like to play video games while drinking are also invited.

Dizzy Gillespie & The Electric Mayhem.

More art! Is it just me or does that painting on the wall make it look like the person sitting on the bench just let out a huge, disgusting fart?

Wikipedia is anti-American! YOU-ESS-AY! YOU-ESS-AY!

Awesome article.

Bullet-proof rain jacket for when it's raining bullets.

Why oh why haven't I put up a link to Jeffrey's blog? Oversight corrected! Please view these amazing drawings.

Japanese Bruce Willis impersonator.

What's the orange ball for?

How to destroy the Earth!

Picard Alphabet. Patrick Stewart joking around on the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Teacher criticized for "fixing ebonics".

I noticed a while ago that the BBCode quoting mechanism I have doesn't work any more. Not sure why... Anyway, I've fixed it.

Also, a reminder of how to use the linking BBCode tags appears when you use them. The easiest way of using it is to paste in a URL, select it, then click the button. After that, type in the link text.

Apple unveils new product-launching software (from The Onion).

Shortly after Jobs' address, Microsoft announced that they are working on a similar product, the Launch-O, due to debut in 2009.

Maddox writes about the one thing PC users can do that Mac users can't.

Test how stupid you are.

Great big clip from Spider-Man 3. Get it while it's hot. Skip to about halfway to see stuff that's actually interesting.

It's so true...

Since when does nobody know how to spell "braking" and "ridiculous"? For a while now it's all been "breaking" and "rediculous".

WHY?!

Are humans hard-wired to believe in supernatural dieties? I link to the Slashdot article instead of to the original so you get all the meaty Slashdot comments.

MajikSznak on the Wii! Everything seems to work A-OK, down to the exploding hover-images and posting.

Blog post:

I made too many cookies. 7 was stupid: what was I thinking? This poor cookie is sitting there and looking at it makes me feel sick. The poor thing started off as the Golden Child of this batch of cookies: I was saving the best for last. Now it may as well be a lump of crap. I feel no remorse, even though my disgust would be more appropriately targeted at this cookie's 6 brothers.

What? It's not like I'm going to blame myself for gobbling down six delicious <urp> cookies.

A baker's dozen, is 13, eh? Well, the baker is a fatass.

Gates vs. Jobs. Sound doesn't work properly on my computer so I don't know what it's about, but the geriatric C64 just came on and I realize this has to be gold!

Megatron toy sold for $3,950 USD.

Impossible quiz. A time waster...

How to make a steak: vegan propaganda.

B3ta.com illustrates joke punchlines. I quite like "Me in my lucky blue coat".

The Onion AV Club article: Things that still exist but shouldn't:

1. Local TV News (that gets a hearty "Hear hear!" from me)
2. The J. Crew Catalog
3. The Fantanas

Awwwww. At a zoo, a baby orangutan and a baby tiger are friends.

Tranny or Granny? Can you tell the difference?

The Stella Awards. Sort of like the Darwin Awards, but for law. Thanks to "Mens Rhesus" for the link.

Named after the woman who got money from McDonald's for spilling coffee in her lap.

Citroen Transformer ice skating. Posted because it's cool and because Hot Janet asked nicely!

Drunk squirrel tries to climb a tree. Way funnier than it sounds!

What is going on here?

Krispy Kreme donuts are so good their ads aren't fit for TV. See if you can catch the blooper before they zoom in on this news SNFU.

Douche Cologne. You act like one: why not smell like one?

Macusers: don't use Safari, use Firefox instead. Here's why.

Teletubbies accidental porn.